A Vacation for Lame Duck and Lame Dick

It has been a tough few months for the White House. Being criticized for the numerous scandals, and watching so many political allies and supporters indicted (or shot) must take an tremendous amount of energy. Top that off with an approval rating that, if you exclude members of the Bush clan and people working in the Oil industry, must barely enter into double digits and I think everyone would agree that the President and VP could use a good break. I know that the president gets a lot of criticism for taking more vacation time than any other president in recent memory, but what other president has tried to spread democracy to the Middle East. Hey, this is a part of the world where a cartoon can cause weeks of riots and death. It's hard to imagine that the foundations of democracy, like Freedom of Speech for example, are going to be received there with cheering and flowers the way our troops were in Iraq. If Bush is going to democratize the world in his last three years, he is going to need all the rest he can get. He is, after all, a lame duck.
Cheney will also need to be well rested because his credibility is pretty battered after almost offing his friend and Republican money guy. If he is going to regain any credibility, even if only with his own party, it is going to take a lot of energy. He is, you might say, a lame Dick.
Although it is hard to imagine any legislators but those in the reddest of red states wanting these two around before the mid-term election, they may need to be in campaign mode over the next few months. They should be refreshed and ready to go just in case.
I don't think that pulling weeds on his ranch or riding his bicycle past hordes of protesters is really going to do it for the president. He needs to go some place where he can work off some aggression. What is better for working out aggression than shooting things? I think it would be a great idea if he went hunting with the vice president. Yeah, that could be the best thing for him and for the American people. Hey Dick, since I’d like to do my part for the American people, if you take the president hunting the drinks are on me.

Scooter and Shooter

Guns Don't Shoot People; Dick Cheney Shoots People

In an effort to prove that the Bush Administration is firmly in support of both the 2nd Amendment and tort reform, Dick Cheney exercised his right to bear arms by shooting a lawyer. Back when he selected himself as Bush's running mate the news agencies all agreed that Cheney would lend some "gravitas" to the campaign. It seems that lately there is more of the "grave" to Cheney than gravitas and by now it should be clear to most intelligent people that Dick Cheney is a horrible person.
The five deferments he received during the Vietnam War so that he could continue a mediocre academic career were just the first clue to a life that has been all about looking out for number one. What ever happened to the days when we could at least pretend that our public servants had some noble calling to foster the common good? Like too many of our politicians, Cheney is the perfect poster children for rampant self-interest. Everything he and his boss have done in office, from the obsene tax cuts for the rich to misrepresentation of the situation in Iraq, have been calculated to increase the wealth and power of themselves and their pals. The private hunting ground where, out of shape, rich, white guys can shoot nearly tame birds is the perfect metaphor for the world Cheney wants.
Wrong as it might be for those of us members of the proletariate to find satisfaction in a hunting accident, there is something of poetic justice in the thought of members of the over-privileged class turning guns on each other. I am sure it must have been tramatic for big Dick though. I have little doubt that as the army of doctors who stand watch over our vice-president's inadequate heart were rushing to the aid of the fallen sportsman, an army of spin-doctors who stand watch over our vice-president's inadequate spirit were just as busy. Oh, to be a fly on the wall when the conversations about how to handle this delicate situation were being made. There are certainly some questions that need to be answered. Why did it take so long for the news to get out? Would the White House even have let the news out if they hadn't been asked about it first? But really, is there anyone out there who actually needs these questions answered?