The Fighting Irish

Now that the Holidays are over maybe we can turn our attention to something more important than how stores should greet shoppers or what to call that big green tree-like thing that people put in their homes to celibrate Christmas. I understand that not everyone who celibrates holidays this time of year is celibrating Christmas, so I have no problem with being wished "Happy Holidays" when I check out at the cash register. However, anyone who shells out forty dollars for a dead pine tree that is going to be covered in lights and ornaments is celibrating Christmas. I would no more call it a Holiday Tree than I would stand in the front yard in my underwear singing "I'm dreaming of a white holiday. When did we become so emotionally fragile that validation of our religious beliefs relied how we are greeted by a store clerk who, when it comes right down to it, doesn't really care if we have a Merry Christmas, Happy Chanukah, or Great Kwanza.
Of course this isn't the first time we have seen this sort of lunacy. A few years ago there was a story about some zealots who were insisting that Notre Dame University change the name of their athletic teams from the "Fighting Irish." Due to the fact that I am half Irish by heritage, I was appalled. After all, one of the greatest sources of pride in my Irish heritage is that very same Celtic reputation for fighting. As a student of history, it was with much pride that I learned that during the height of the British Empire, there were more British troops stationed in Ireland than in any colony except for India. The Irish are such tenacious fighters that they gave England more trouble than any of the Colonies. "Fighting Irish" is a great and historic name, one to be proud of.
Once my blood pressure returned to normal, however, I started to think of possible alternatives to the old name. Here are a couple that I thought might be acceptable:
The Drinking Irish
Sure, this one doesn't necessarily strike fear into the opponents the way "Fighting Irish" might, but from my experience most of the really good fighting that my Irish friends and family have done has been a result of their being terrific drinkers, which leads me to my second, and best alternative....
The Drinking and Fighting Irish
No! This is just a pipe-dream! It seems that the Irish reputation for drinking has been blown out of proportion by anti-Irish bigots. When Former President Clinton compared the peace talks between Israel and the PLO to getting two Irishmen to leave a bar, he was condemned by the Irish anti-defamation league. I read the statement that the founder of the league gave from the bar he owns in Boston.
So my guess is that those goody two shoes will find these even more offensive than the original. Of course it might be that "fighting" isn't even the objectionable part of the name. Not long ago, a woman in Vermont had her request for a vanity plate denied because it said "Irish." The state decided that some people might find it offensive. These "Irish" weren't even "fighting" or "drinking." The first State in the Union tolerant enough to recognize the union of same sex couples felt that "Irish" was an offensive term. If it is so offensive how do you explain that every year, for one day in March, everyone pretends to be Irish?
Shortly after that the same state refused to let a couple put "Romans 8" on their vanity plate because it was offensive. And who would be offended by that? Colossians? What's next? Will the state refuse to pass cars through the state required inspection because they find bumper stickers or window stickers offensive. I've seen some bumper stickers that are
pretty crass, and some that might be considered exclusionary. Will Dartmouth stickers become offensive to people who could only get into UVM? We live in a day when tolerance seems to be synonymous with censorship. The people who speak loudest about acceptance are the ones who are most militant about telling us what is acceptable. Naturally there are words and names that most reasonable people won't and shouldn't tolerate. But let's use some common sense. We are in danger of turning ourselves into such a white bread, watered down culture that there will be nothing left to tolerate. And to tell you the truth this makes me fighting mad. It really gets my Irish up!